Sibyls’ Salon

the Sibyls

Sibylesque Go sibyls Cake

The Sibyls’ Salon was, once again, an exciting mix of extraordinary insights, wise words and frivolity. The opening question brought about an hilarious range of responses.

You are lost on a Desert Island with no IT or means of communication. But, thank goodness, you have one treasured item with you. What is it?

The answers include:

the noble – the complete works of Shakespeare,

the sweet – my teddy bear,

the practical – a pillow,

the entertaining – a book of crossword puzzles,

the devoted – my cat.

But all of the above seemed a little modest compared to Sibyl Doris’s choice of Stephen Sondheim and a Grand Piano!!!!!!! Sibyls desert Island disks Thanks to Sibyls Elizabeth, Rita, Viv I, Rosemary, Viv II, Denis, Celia (See Sibyl Cake above) and Carol plus Host Sibyls Doris and Kerry.

Old Age: The Doddery vs The Dazzling

by Kerry Cue

sibylesque Iris Apfel quote

The doddery Old Age stereotype versus dynamic new old Agers was dramatically apparent in The Australian Weekend Review, (22 Aug 2015. There is a paywall but you can see the cartoon here.) Deidre Macken wrote a thoughtful and lively article about older women, which left anyone over the age of 60 feeling foot-tappin’ good about getting old.
Iris Apfel Fashion Icon 93

Primarily, Macken paid homage to Iris Apfel a New York fashion icon at 93, who is the star of a documentary titled simply Iris (below).

Macken also captured the dynamic zeitgeist of aging for a new generation of women.

‘Finally relieved of kids, parents’ stuff, jobs and sometimes partners, women of the first youth generation are in the mood for breaking out again.’ Too true.

But the cartoon accompanying Macken’s intelligent piece dished up the same old shriveled-cold-tripe imagery we mature age readers are fed daily namely a sketch of three doddery oldies on walking frames. The cartoon had nothing to do with the article theme. Even if we see old women bush walking, riding bikes and pumping more iron than that cartoonist (Jon Kudelka. Google him), we are still surrounded with these negative stereotypes. But as Macken noted:

‘You’re only old once.’ And we are not about to beige up and fade away.

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 We, THE SIBYLS, declare Deidre Macken an Honorary Sibyl for her insightful writing, her independent thinking and her intelligent reporting on the lives of vibrant older women.

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Deirdre Macken

Deirdre Macken

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Best known as a journalist and columnist, Deirdre Macken wrote on business and marketing for The Australian 1975-1979, worked for The Age 1979-1987 and was a senior writer on The Sydney Morning Herald and its Good Weekend from 1987-1999. She is currently a columnist and senior writer for The Australian.

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Photo source: Film Website

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Vote 1 Wisdom ….. or How not to be a victim by Hillary Clinton

by Kerry Cue

Sibylesque Wise woman quoteHillary Clinton is 67 years old and running for President. If she is voted into office, an increasingly unlikely scenario, she will be 70 years old and, after 2 possible terms, she will be 78 years old.

Why all the brouhaha? Opponents have dubbed Hillary ‘grandma’, which, indeed, she is, but the term is used as an insult. It is meant to demean her status.

Sibylesque Vote 1 for WisdomThere have been 44 presidents with 3 in Hillary’s demographic. Margaret Thatcher was 54 when she became Prime Minister in 1979 and held that office for 11 years. Golda Meir was 71 when elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969. Angela Merkel was 51 when elected German Chancellor. She remains in office at the age of 61.

There are now 46 million Americans over 65 and the numbers are rising. Last election they represented 23% of the voting population. Only a fool would set out to insult 23% of potential voters. Then again, fools rush in where the older and wiser fear to tread.

Hillary had the last say. She started a Twitter account #Grandmotherknowsbest.

Thus ends the lesson in how not to be a victim.

curlicuePhotosource: Winedentity

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These are the best years of your life. What? Middle school? That’s it!

The Sibyls

Radical Age quote

We Sibyls are concerned with the impact negative attitudes to aging have on our health. Toxic stereotypes of ‘the little old lady’ are prevalent in the medical world, At my age doctor John Glen was an astronaut, in the media, If you think you are old guess what? You are aging fast and in our own conversations, Why you should avoid geriatric talk.

Anarchists knitting Club 1

Sometimes, however, we don’t realise just how ingrained these attitudes are in the culture. In this fascinating lecture Sheila Roher, founder of Radical Age Lab, University of Columbia, asks the audience ‘how many of you were told when you were a child or a teenager that these are the best years of your life?’. ‘That’s a terrifiying statement!’ exclaims Roher. ‘Like I peaked at nine … middle school is it?’

Watch the video for some profound philosophical thinking on aging.

You will find more discussion on this topic at Radical Age Movement Blog.

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Being Wise about Being Old

By Kerry Cue

Sibylesque tim Wilson Quote

Sibylesque is dedicated to challenging the ‘little old lady’ stereotype and developing a realistic, yet positive outlook on aging. We have already noted that a positive attitude to aging can increase your quality of life, improve your general health and even increase your life expectancy.

Sibylesque Grandmas Rock

Yet wisdom lies in not only tackling life full on, but also knowing when to bow out gracefully. I know a number of males, who have waited until retirement to go wild. Several bought motorbikes for the first time in their sixties. One bought a 1000cc Suzuki. But he was so worried about sitting in the middle of the road on his big bike, he’d only make left hand turns. He’d take ages to ride anywhere because he had to sort of spiral into his destination.

Another 60+ retiree bought a Harley. He won’t ride it in the rain. I picture him riding his Harley holding up an umbrella. His wife/biker’s-moll said he went out riding one day and came back. He forgot his glasses. He went out and came back again. He forgot his boots. Then he forgot his wallet. ‘Do you know what this means?’ she asked me. ‘We’re talking Alzheimer’s on a Harley’. Is he a danger on the road? Should he hand in his helmet? And who decides?

You are the one who must decide in life when it is time, in one situation or another, to take a backseat. The decisions may be BIG. Should I retire? Should I downsize? Should I sell the motorbike? Or, SMALL! Should I get others to climb the ladder? Should I stop wearing those floppy, loose-fitting, and potentially dangerous, shoes?

Life is, and has always been, a gamble. Just like the lyrics of the Kenny Rogers song to be wise about old age ‘You’ve got to know when to hold ’em/ Know when to fold ’em/ Know when to walk away/ And know when to run.’

Until then, Go Grandma, Go!!!!!

Photo Source:  Corbis Images

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Please Squeeze: Why Pelvic Floor Exercises Count at your age!

by Annie James

Sibylesque Pelvic Floor Joke quote

A bit of essential leg-crossing when there’s no loo nearby? Not too keen on star jumps or sneezing bouts? The resorting to panty-liners to blot the odd leak? These are all signs that your pelvic floor muscles would like some attention, some action.

With age and especially following a vaginal delivery, the cradle of muscles around urethra (urine outlet) become less effective in contracting well and exercises may be all that’s required to make them effective again. The results can be seen quickly and the problem resolved. If you don’t know whether you’re using the correct muscles you can try stopping your urine flow mid-stream. This is not recommended as an exercise but will give you the correct sensation of ‘drawing up’ your pelvic floor and you’ll then be able to do it whenever you want.

Sibylesque  Pelvic Floor Joke

Ideally do it at least 6 times, 2-3 times a day, and try and vary length of hold, and how high you feel you’re lifting. It shouldn’t be obvious to anyone that you’re doing the exercises so make sure you breath normally! I know it seems a lot of exercise for one lot of muscles but if you do them say, once at traffic lights, once lying in bed and once when cleaning teeth or waiting for a coffee, it’s a breeze.

Please note, if you don’t have an idea of how to do the exercise or the problems continue, do see your GP or a specialist Physiotherapist for advice and other treatment.

Believe me, you’ll enjoy a much happier older age if you keep these muscles active; improves enjoyment of sex too!

You will find everything you could ever want to know about incontinence and more if you download this brochure from the Continence Foundation of Australia.

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Babylonian Sibyl

Babylonian Sibyl

Annie James is an adventurous spirit, who is passionate about women’s health. She has worked as a physiotherapist and also hikes and plays tennis.

Photo source: Social History Archives

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I will not be a stereotype when I grow old

Sibylesque Paul Coelho QuoteChange is a Beautiful Thing is a part of The Beauty Project by New York director Kathryn Ferguson. This short  film does not whitewash aging. It is full of the foibles, doubts and uncertainties of growing old. Yet it also bubbles with individuality, vitality and the honesty age, hopefully, brings.

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Why it is good to be old!

By Kerry Cue

Sibylesque old age quote 2

In, At Seventy, her journal chronicling the year that began on her 70th birthday, American Poet May Sarton noted that aging offers an opportunity to become more fully ourselves and , more not less, individual. (How to Age, Anne Karpf, The School of Life, p9) Sarton wrote the quote (above) when she was 85 years old.

Yet this celebration of the Self that embodies a quiet acceptance – rather than Me-glorious-Me narcissim – is something rarely articulated in our culture. We are presented with images of age as a ‘hideous ruin’, what sociologist Mike Featherstone calls ‘a pornography of old age’. See The Portrait of the Mother by the Artist

Sibylesque Senior Moment

So it is a delight to open a newspaper and discover an article titled: On turning 70 by Liz Byrski (SMH 3 AUG 2014), which celebrated aging. Byrski begins with “Seventy feels like a reward for patience and perseverance, and I am determined to make the most of what follows.” While other milestone birthdays in Byrski’s life – 21, 40, 50 – did not deliver a feeling of change, waking up on her 70th birthday was a liberating experience.

‘I’d arrived; something had shifted’ she wrote. A pair of high heels was symbolic of this shift. A symbol of ‘discomfort and restrictions of conformity’, she chucked them out. She became more herself. Byrski does not shy away from the physical challenges of old age. But insists ‘we are living proof for young people that ageing can be a time of pleasure, satisfaction, opportunity and yes, even new horizons.’

We, THE SIBYLS, declare Liz Byrski an Honorary Sibyl for her open spirit, contagious vitality and willingness to explore that philosophical question ‘what does it mean to grow old?’

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liz bryskicompanyofstrangersLiz Byrski is a WA-based broadcaster and an author of both fiction and non-fiction books. She started writing novels in her late fifties based on interesting and active older female characters as, so often, the stereotype of older women in novels were limited to the nosey neighbour, interfering mother-in-law, frail and dependent burden, or lonely miserable spinster.lastchance

Her books include In the Company of Strangers and Last Chance Café.

Photo Source: !950s Social Archives

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Aging Passionately

by Kerry Cue

Sibylesque Florida Scott-Maxwell Quote

Ann Karpf

Ann Karpf

“How to Age’ (The School of Life, 2014) by Anne Karpf takes an analytical and philosophical look at aging. Despite wide spread gerontophobia in our society where age is not just see as a disability, it is despised, Karpf explains that people can age with vitality until their final breath.

And one of the most liberating joys of aging is not caring ‘what others think about you.’

how to ageYou may also like to read about the how geriatric language can age you. At my age, doctor, John Glen was an astronaut!

Anne Karpf is a writer, sociologist and award-winning journalist. And here she is talking about ‘How to Age’:

http://youtu.be/NtPwObOau0M

Help! I’m turning into Miss Havisham!

by Kerry Cue

Sibylesque Dust Quote

Ghosts of Things Past!

The piano belonged to my mother, Kath Meehan. When my daughter asked this question almost 20 years ago, I laughed. The piano was indeed dusty. My mother had a ‘minimalist’ attitude to housework. I had the good fortune to have a childhood blessed by a mother who spent far more time playing the piano (She played in a local dance band for 25 years), than dusting it. If she wasn’t playing the piano, she was bush walking, bird watching, silk screen painting, or playing music for the disabled.

Miss Favisham   Carminesuperiore

When my mother died not long after my daughter’s dusty piano observations, we five – very different – kids wanted some scrap of a eulogy put on her tombstone. We unanimously agreed on ‘A life of music and laughter’.

Of late, however, dust has been invading my house. No more or less than usual, I guess, but it accumulates because I don’t notice it. I need my reading glasses to see the dust. This makes me a little fearful that I am turning into Dicken’s Miss Havisham. Will I discover a decaying wedding cake when I put on my glasses? It almost seems possible.

Nevertheless, whenever I unexpectedly discover the furniture peppered with motes of dust, I laugh because I’m taken back to the world of my childhood.

A time of music and laughter.

Photo source: Carminesuperiore Bolg

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