Mindfulness, Laundry and the Meaning of Life

December 15, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

Well…while you were sleeping, or tossing and turning, depending on how you do the night, I was washing in a laundromat in New York. It’s a first world problem I know but bear with me. You never really think about washing when you live in a house with a washing machine so let me describe living in a house without a washing machine…(and a dishwasher and microwave, neither of which I mind being without).

Throwing on a load of washing is such a non-thought about domestic action, which we take for granted but if we break it down, there is an awful lot more to it than meets the eye. Firstly, if the washing machine is not in the house, your initial consideration is getting dressed. How often do we ‘put on a load’ straight from sleep and in pjs, often as the opener to ‘getting through the list of chores.’ Not so now. Getting dressed is a must as, although there are some strange sights in New York, I don’t want to be one of them. So fully dressed I gather the dirty clothes and shove them in 1, 2, 3 or 4 bags, grab the TIDE and the BOUNCE sheets and head on down the stairs, out the door and along the street. A long 2 blocks where I’m very consciou of the hidden curriculum and social structures. Are you carting your laundry in a trolley or in bags? How much do you have? How dirty are you and how often do you wash? (Only saw your sheets 4 weeks ago); what…no fabric softener? Remind me not to put my clothes in the machine you used! Hmmm…will your tea towels go in with your whites in a big $4 dollar machine or will you go the extra dollar to separate your laundry in 2 x $2.50 washers? This is the subculture … people don’t actually say but … washing is no longer a domestic habit. It’s a scary chore.

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Penny Cook has been an early childhood educator for over 30 years. She loves to travel – anywhere. She is currently consulting as an Early Childhood specialist in New York. She has always wanted to live in a tree house by the beach …..it’s never too late!! Other posts by Penny Cook include From Here to God-Help-Us: XS Baggage and Travel Tales.

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Image source: Unkown

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Playing 3D Sudoku on the New York subway

November 5, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

I had a 12.00 appointment in Ozone Park to meet a principal. So I HOPSTOPPED the directions and set out very early because I would rather get there than be late. Well, on the platform at Cortelyou, waiting for the Q to get me to DeKalb where I was going to change to the A, some convoluted announcement comes over the loud speaker and of course, it couldn’t be understood. I worked out it was about the D train so I figured the Q was still coming. It wasn’t.

Above ground I found no A train. Nor did I find anyone who knew where one was. So I headed underground again and got on a train to where I knew there would be an A train – 42nd Street (totally wrong direction). When I got off there I walked for miles to the A but at least I was on it.

I had plenty of time, but I was a bit concerned when the train didn’t stop at 80th (where I was meant to get out). Of course an announcement had been made but I couldn’t understand a word of it. Turns out the platform was being repaired. I still had time but I got out at the next stop and the subway attendant gave me a card to call a taxi … on my phone with the rapidly depleting battery. I’m right in gangster type territory so I was pleased when the car turned up and drove me 2 blocks for a fee of $7 (ended up giving him $10 with the tip). When I found my way in to the building with10 minutes to spare, I’d been travelling for 2 hours 20 minutes I produced my photo ID and I was directed to the 4th floor, which turned out to be wrong and when I eventually arrived in what I thought was the right place with 5 minutes up my sleeve, I was told the person I was seeing wasn’t there.

A few phone calls and it turns out the principal thought we were meeting at another school. I didn’t have that information. The person attending to me kindly called me a car, which was going to cost $16 to get to the school. So the car turns up and the young Arabic driver (I’m mentioning race because he had music on and I asked what language it was in and he told me and we got chatting about his life and future) didn’t quite know where to go so we went the long way through Ozone Park to Jamaica – $20 later I arrive. So I finally meet with the principal I’m only 30 minutes late but had been ‘travelling’ for 3 hours.

A good meeting and now I needed to find my way home. I caught a bus to Jamaica Centre where there are a couple of subways, the Long Island Railway and the air train to JFK. A helpful lady next to me directed me to the E train and said stand right there and when the train comes you aks (yes, no typo there) the conductor and he gonna tell yooo. Yooo better off aksing him than looken at the mayap (map). Well … I took a look at the map (thank goodness) because she was going to get me to somewhere on Manhattan that was nowhere near a connection for me to get home.

So up above ground I go and head for the Long Island Railway where I eventually find the right track … but I don’t have a ticket and the train is coming. The lovely guard who was dressed just like the conductor in POLAR EXPRESS said ‘Yoo waait rut thar ma’am, I gunna git yooo awn dat traaiin.’ So when the train pulled in he had a word to the conductor and I was on the train!! I shook his hand and thanked him profusely and sat quietly and comfortably for the next 15 minutes to Atlantic Station Brooklyn. When I arrived I made my way to the Q (on familiar ground now). Hopped on the train and with the remainder of the phone’s low battery, proceeded to play WORDBRAIN. I am on penguin level with no hints left and I just can’t get one word. Next thing I know I’m at Newkirk station, not Cortelyou. Had I been so absorbed that I’d missed Cortelyou … I thought we just passed Church Avenue. Q…B…easy mistake to make….big yellow Q, big orange B. Oh well, it was better than ending up at Coney Island and it was a nice day for another walk!!

So what should have taken 3 hours and 4 trains took 6 hours, 5 trains, 2 cars about 2km of walking, a hundred odd stairs and $30!!!!

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Image source: New York Subway Website

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From here to God-Help-Us ……. XS BAGGAGE

October 21, 2015 by the sibyls 2 Comments

by Penny Cook

When I returned two hours later, the other One was on check in. He took both bags, processed them through, gave me an aisle seat and said ‘have a good flight.’ I am still wondering – what would have happened to that 90 euro had I handed it over to ‘the One.’ Dare I say she would have been having a night out on the town in Barcelona, courtesy of my second bag.

I met the One. She was at Barcelona Airport and was (was not) checking me in at Iberia Airlines. As I approached the counter early on Sunday afternoon, she took my printed flight details and scoffed ‘ Oh ha…you are way too early. Go away and come back later … and besides, you will be needing to pay 90 euro extra for that second bag.’ After picking myself up off the floor I begged to differ. ‘No, I was told 30 euro extra for the second bag … and that’s what it says on the website.’ ‘No! This is not the website and it is 90 euro. Now go!’ When I returned two hours later, the other One was on check in. He took both bags, processed them through, gave me an aisle seat and said ‘have a good flight.’ I am still wondering – what would have happened to that 90 euro had I handed it over to ‘the One.’ Dare I say she would have been having a night out on the town in Barcelona, courtesy of my second bag.

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Image source: airline ruleofthree Tumblr

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Travel Tales: From Here to God-Help-Us

September 28, 2015 by the sibyls 3 Comments

by Penny Cook

I’m Barcelona bound and after 24 hour very long hours on planes, here are some observations. I wonder why they give you so much food so often? In that 24 hours I was served 4 main meals (3 course) and 2 snacks. I was very impressed with the gay boys next to me who managed to eat everything and keep their trays in tact with all the little containers lined up and with their matching lids. I could barely cope, as I had to explore each one before deciding where to start. They knew what to do … scan, open one, eat it all, close it, and proceed with precision. The flight attendant could barely remove my tray as it was in such disarray. Glad there was no turbulence at that point.

So…here I am in lovely Barcelona. Jet lagged and a little lost. It is a part of the human condition that when giving directions, we all use the universal non specific language of ‘over there’, ‘turn here’, ‘not far’ ,’can’t miss it’, ‘it’s on your left’, ‘it’s on my right’, ‘just a bit’…..fascinating and fairly unhelpful in a foreign city.

Nevertheless, I found a local tapas bar. No little packages. No cold, soggy sandwiches. No gluggy pasta in a non-descript sauce. Bliss. I’ve arrived.

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Image source: pinterest

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Have those idiotic airline safety instructions ever actually saved anyone? And why, then, try and poison us with airline food?

August 21, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

They insist that you watch the air safety demonstration because all aircraft MAY differ. So I decided to take note…and what I noticed from the demonstration, apart from the similarity that all aircraft have 2 wings is that; the instructions for fastening and unfastening the seat belt tightly across your lap, are exactly the same on every flight I’ve ever been on … as are the brace position and the directions to the exit rows.

The oxygen mask is always above your head and will always drop down in case of an emergency. Not one airline has instructed me to fit the mask on the baby next to me before fitting my own and the life jacket is always stowed underneath my seat.

There is never an alternative offered to inflate your life jacket before disembarking and apparently the light and whistle will always attract attention. Of course, I attended, even though there was absolutely nothing new, because I don’t like to tempt fate!!! If I didn’t watch, the plane would fall out of the sky, wherein, not one of those directions would save me anyway!!! And what is it about ‘having your seat in the upright position before take off and landing.’ Not sure how a quarter inch re cline could save your life!!

Where did these directions come from? Are they just sacred cows of the air that have been floating around for ages and never been challenged. Where’s the science??? Has anyone come off an airline crash saying’ thank goodness I had my seat belt strapped tight and low? I wasn’t going to but I’m so glad I did.’

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Penny Cook has been an early childhood educator for over 30 years. She loves to travel – anywhere. Penny is a mother and ‘Nan Pen’, who is continuously fascinated and amazed by her two young grandchildren. She has always wanted to live in a tree house by the beach …..it’s never too late!!

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Image source: Imgust

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Imagine this … toys for tots that don’t cost an arm and a leg

August 11, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

OK! I’m going to be blunt here….if you’re a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbour of a young child…never let toy companies con you into thinking they have something you don’t have in your cupboard. If you have pots’n’pans, plastic containers, jars, interesting cooking utensils, then you have a toyshop!!!

Children love exploring and they love it even more when they’re not presented with glitzy, plastic, brightly coloured so called educational toys. And you know why??? Cos all of those mass produced plastic toys do not…and I say…DO NOT….engage children’s imaginations.

Open the cupboard, let them explore, explore with them. Play with them…pretend with them. Cook the soup, stir the pot and have yet another cup of tea!! Find your old lids and mismatched containers. Let the 2 year old have a go at organising your plastics and drum on your saucepans. If you do that, you will be doing more for their intellectual development than presenting them with coloured ‘bangs and whistle’ toys that only do one thing…bang and whistle.

Great Start Website: Fab resource for parents and grandparents of pre-schoolers

Let’s honour and respect children’s imaginations and open the cupboards and drawers. Watch what they do. You will see mathematical and scientific thinkers and you will hear their thinking as they explore, wonder, try out (that’s called hypothesising in the big world, but children do it all the time), and come up with some amazing thoughts, questions and ideas.

How come there is a whole multinational toy industry? Oh!! It’s because it’s a multinational toy industry. Take the pressure off yourselves and find what engages kids minds and souls, and I can tell you, it won’t be pink or purple plastic. Let’s give the kids a go.

Last word…no plastic toy or even pots and pans will replace playing with the kids but pots ‘n pans are fun!!!

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Photo source: Great Start website, Dept of Education and Child Development, SA

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Cafe Culture: Do or Die!

June 5, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

By Penny Cook

There’s a problem with Café Culture. Great service ends at the point of payment. Adelaide is not known for a service culture in cafés. Typically, you order and pay at the counter before you eat. So why would they care? You’ve paid already. Tables are often messy and the service so, so … slow.

I’ve been caught out in Melbourne where table service seems to be the norm. I’ve unintentionally walked away without paying. Just so you know, when I’ve realised my mistake I’ve happily and apologetically returned to pay because that’s the right thing to do.

But in some cafés in Adelaide and in all restaurants, there is table service, which is great. Once again, great service ends at the point of payment. I would think, possibly naively, that if I am paying the dosh for the nosh, the recipients wouldn’t care how they got it, given that in all circumstances they are going to make a profit on what they have served up.

Increasingly, and with the introduction of pay wave, a lot of us aren’t carrying a wad of cash these days. So when I go out for a meal with friends, it frustrates the hell out of me to be given the task of the customer doing the math and splitting the bill and collecting payment, only to make it easier for the restaurant. When I’m told ‘we don’t split the bill’, I’m tempted to respond ‘would you like my money for what I ate and drank or not? I’m not responsible for the other adults in my party, only me.’ What is the legal requirement here? Can eating establishments insist on collective payment and if so, what lengths can they go to recover the money if I insist on being charged and paying individually?

This can be easily overcome, as it is in the US, where service equates to tips, by the restaurant having a system where they number each person at the table and assign the order to the person, so when it comes to payment, all they have to do is calculate the bill for each patron. Simple. That way they ensure accurate billing and payment and happy customers, who are likely to tip more and return.

Is this rocket science? I think not.

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Photo source: Social Archives

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OMG! I forgot to stay young …

May 27, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

Although we now know about the hormonal aspects of menopause … and let me tell you, that concept was explained to me as a ‘pause between men’ … have we really explored the behavioural aspects?

It might just be my age and being bashed up by life, but am I alone in my thoughts and reactions? I’m finding more and more, my response to ‘chick flick tear jerker movies’ is less tears and more jerk. I don’t want to see the male mid-life crisis being rewarded by the reconciliation with the long-suffering wife on screen, or in real life. I don’t want to see the middle-age men in Hollywood more easily getting roles – possibly as the love interest of someone 25 years his junior – when women have to fight for authentic stories, as they age. I don’t want to see women on screen, or in life, having to work to stay looking young so they are valued.

We are discriminated against on so many fronts on the screen and in real life. Then, we further disadvantage ourselves by wilfully aging. Meanwhile, we face inequality of pay at every age. That’s the real life script. We burnt the bra. There are no more undergarments left to burn.

So what will it take … for equality now?

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Photo source: Vintage Gal

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The One-Size-Fits-All Life

May 15, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

One Size Fits All!

In this world of litigation … how useful is that term? Can I assume that I am included in ‘all’? So … what if the ‘one size fits all’ garment doesn’t fit me? Can I go to the sales person and say …’hello. I’m ‘all’ and this doesn’t fit?’ I haven’t had this experience yet but as I’m ageing I’m thinking it might happen soon’… In fact, I know it will. Would it not be better to say ..’might fit all’.

As a consumer and shopper of garments … I don’t want to be misled. Don’t tell me this will fit everyone, without saying ‘yes..,it might fit you but it will look awful’. It’s hard enough to live with my changing shape, but don’t mislead me. If you say ‘one size fits all’, shouldn’t there be some social accountability?

Ditto life. As we age, should ‘One Size Fit All?’ More significantly, are we then pressured into fitting the bland and limiting one size mold?

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Photo source: Little Robin Photography (links unsourced)

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Sibling Rivalry: It’s what happened when we stopped sending kids down the coal mines!

May 15, 2015 by the sibyls Leave a Comment

by Penny Cook

At what point did sibling rivalry become 2 separate words? Anyone with 2 or more children knows it’s actually one word….because as soon as you have a sibling, there is rivalry. All our good intentions in planning the ‘best possible’ age gap between children goes to play dough as soon as there is a second child and is there to stay for subsequent additions to the clan.

Sibling rivalry is one of those primitive dispositions in children’s lives that we don’t like to deal with, let alone acknowledge as a normal and healthy part of socialisation. I’m not saying physical abuse is ok but when children ‘rival’ with each other for the same amount of dosh for pocket money or who’s done the dishes more times or had more turns on the computer, they’re actually exploring ‘fairness’, which is a concept we would like them to know about. Our struggle as parents and grandparents is how to teach them understanding and negotiation for equitable outcomes, compromise, empathy and generosity in sibling rivalry, cos God knows, often it’s easier to send them all to their rooms!!

When we stop and talk children through what they’re experiencing and how it might work for them and others we are doing the whole of society a big favour. Now, this isn’t going to be possible with every squabble but acknowledging and naming feelings and being a fair arbitrator not only builds trust but let’s children know that situations can be solved and builds their skills in doing so. They will learn far more about equity from watching and experiencing the actions of the trusted adults in their lives than any social learning program. So grown ups, when you feel disempowered by the ‘rivalry’, remember, there’s a learning opportunity and a purpose in all of it.

Of course, at times, the darlings may just be being little so and so’s. That’s what bedrooms are for. If they won’t go there, you can!!

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Photo source: Awkward Family Photos

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