Turning 50? Should it be a Rite of Passage?

by Kerry Cue

Sibylesque Croning Quote 1Listening to some wonderful stories while attending a Celebrants’ Conference in Sydney the other week, I was flabbergasted to discover there was such a thing as a Croning Ceremony. I was delighted to meet Jacqueline Hope, a Celebrant from WA, who has conducted such a ceremony. See here and here.

Who would want to be called a crone? No one. Yet there are two conflicting meanings of this word: (Free Dictionary)

  1. An old woman considered to be ugly; a hag.
  2. A woman who is venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom.

Can we reclaim the word crone as a positive force? I doubt it, but many women today treat their 50th birthday as a rite of Passage. This is a New Age take on the pagan/Wicca belief that there are three stages of womanhood: Virgin, Mother, Crone. Of course, others might consider their 60th birthday as their entry into their wise years. Or, perhaps, your 70th birthday has special meaning for you.

The Fabulous Stage is represented by Beatrix Ost, Advanced Style, NY.

The Fabulous Stage is represented by Beatrix Ost, Advanced Style, NY.

The respected mythologist Jospeh Campbell referred to crones appearing to help the child of destiny in a time of danger and obscurity.

Others call this ritual a Wise Woman Ceremony, either way it is claiming the mature years as a positive stage. From Barbara Hannah Grufferman in The Huffingtonpost to The Women at Woodstock, who run weekends for women over 50, women are gathering together to celebrate the joy and wisdom of this their ‘FABULOUS’ stage.

Photo source: Unsourced.

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Celebrate Wisdom. It is earned, not given!

By Jacqueline Hope

Sibylesque Wise Woman quote

These are the words read out by Nicky as part of her

Wise Woman Ceremony.

AS A CIRCLE OF WOMEN,
LET US TAKE A MOMENT TO HONOR OUR ANCESTORS,
OUR GRANDMOTHERS & THEIR GRANDMOTHERS
~ THE UNTOLD GENERATIONS OF WOMEN WHO HAVE SAT IN CIRCLE,
SUPPORTING, COMFORTING, GUIDING, TEACHING, LEARNING.

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE AIDED & GUIDED BY THOSE WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE.
IT IS TO THESE CIRCLES OF WOMEN THAT WE OWE OUR CRONE WISDOM,
THE WISDOM OF CYCLES,   THE WISDOM OF CARING,
THE WISDOM OF EMBRACING LIFE  ~  IN ALL ITS CHANGES & MESSY EXUBERANCE.

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WHEN YOU AWAKEN, & ARE FILLED WITH THE DESIRE TO SEE THE HOLINESS IN EVERYDAY LIFE,
SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS:
ORDINARY LIFE BECOMES EXTRAORDINARY.
AND, THE LITTLE THINGS;   THE  CHALLENGES,    THE DAILY KNOWINGS,
THE VERY PROCESS OF LIFE ITSELF,
BEGINS TO NOURISH YOUR SOUL.

AS YOU MOVE THRU YOUR LIFE,   DARE TO BE FILLED WITH LOVE.
ALLOW LOVE’S GRACE & WISDOM TO FLOURISH IN YOUR HEART.

MAY YOUR LIFE  BE GRACED WITH A DEEP & QUIET RENEWAL.
MAY EACH DAY BRING YOU PEACE, CLARITY, GUIDANCE,  JOY.

MAY BEAUTY SURROUND YOU IN THE JOURNEY AHEAD.
MAY HAPPINESS BE YOUR COMPANION.

MAY YOU SEE YOUR PATH, GLORIOUS & GOLDEN ~
GOODNESS UNFOLDING BEFORE YOU.

MAY WE ALL GO INTO THE WORLD IN PEACE & IN JOY.

~~~~~~~

Each person is given a glass of alcohol and with one voice shout out

To THE WISE WOMAN NICKY WELCOME.

~~~~~~~

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Jacqueline Hope is a very young gorgeous 64-year-old divorcee and forcibly retired midwife, who has worked in England, Dubai, Australia, and Peru. She is a marriage celebrant from WA and has a practice in intuitive counseling whose motto is H.O.P.E  – Hold on pain ends. She is the mother of two grown adult-children a son, who, it seems, are rarely are dazzled by their mother’s, brilliance.   (No prophet is recognized in their own land sigh!) She is saving the ‘pennies’ in the hope of swanning off for another adventure.

Photo source: Unsourced.

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Welcome

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We cannot let others define aging for us.

….We must, as we have done before,

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…………….redefine this stage for ourselves.

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What the media doesn’t tell you!

Frankly, my dear, they’re over you!

the-tibertine-sibylIf you have found little of interest in the lifestyle pages across all media platforms, there is a reason. After 54-years of age we are of no interest to Marketing. Apparently, we are ‘too set in our ways’. So, apart from some tragic and cheap ads spruiking pre-paid funerals and incontinence pads, we do not attract the advertising dollar. Therefore editors of magazines, newspapers, websites and blogs aimed at women couldn’t care less about our issues.

There are lots of ads for dubious anti-aging and slimming products, much like the 1950s ads (below) but with their own Facebook Page. But the anti-wrinkle creams and slimming products do not target us. They are aimed at 40, 30 and even 20 year olds. They have more to fear from aging and being overweight than us.50s chin strap We’ve already had to face certain realities. Besides, we’ve been applying goops for 40+ years and we must have tried scores of diets with little success!!! We’ll look at the real science ( and not the ‘radiessence’ or ‘luminosity’) of face creams and rubbish diets later.

But there are many issues such as health, sex and self-perception that change after 54 years of age and that we want to discuss. If you are looking at retirement and your daughter wants the BIG wedding, do you have to pay for it? What if you are divorced? What if it’s her 2nd wedding?

How do you deal with a neurotic daughter-in-law? Or a control-freak son-in-law? Or vice-versa?

Cole Swimsuit Ad 1953 And we wanted those curves!

Cole Swimsuit Ad 1953
And we wanted those curves!

Are you prepared to look after grandchildren one day a week? Two days? How would you react if your daughter handed you a spread sheet scheduling every minute of that one day?

If you didn’t have children, are you now being swamped by the 2nd wave of child-centric conversations as your friends become grandparents?

Moreover, how did any of us even produce children with the hilariously vague ‘sex education‘ we received in the 60s or 70s?

We, The Sibyls, are smart, vibrant and interesting women. It is the intention of this blog to reinvent aging. We’re doing this for ourselves. Welcome.

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