by Kerry Cue
Why would a daughter who loves her mother not want to have children? Be careful what you wish. We feminist mothers wished that our daughters would be free to make their own decisions in life. Nevertheless, we are the first generation of mothers, who cannot assume that grandchildren will appear. I understand why young women, who had difficult mothers may not want children. But young vibrant women who love their mothers … that is a different group. Why wouldn’t they want children?
I had the opportunity to ask a young successful professional woman, this question. She adored, and was also grieving for, her mother who had recently died at the age of 71. The young woman had postponed child bearing until her forties when, fortunately, she gave birth two much loved children when she was 42 and then 45 years of age.
So why don’t feminist daughters of feminist mothers want children? Or, some of them, at least. The young woman first cited failed relationships. Some young women stumble through their twenties and then their thirties from one failed relationship to another. I would add job security as another factor. Some young women worry that they cannot afford children.
Nevertheless, this young feminist felt that feminist mothers are so adamant that their daughters establish independent careers, any talk of motherhood gets lost in the conversation.
So you’ve been warned. Maybe all feminist mothers should talk up motherhood a little more. Afterall, when we mothers get together at any age, guess who we talk about?
Photo source: vintag.es
“wished that our daughters would be free to make their own decisions in life.“
So just up until those decisions are different from yours?
I’m not sure why you think that loving my mother should somehow be related to wanting to BE a mother myself.
The two are apples and oranges.
Here’s another reason people do not have children – we have no desire for them.
the sibyls says
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. It’s fine if you decide to have children or not to have children. Agreed. Nevertheless, your mother will most likely have a strong influence on that decision in one way or another.KC